Blog, read, click to see last issue. Enjoy the early D.N.S. I can't be bothered anymore.
Good. Just look below...
Like whats the point in even saying I'm doing something? I just lie to someone in the long run. Like in Issue: #16 where I couldn't handle it anymore. I was just done and I didnt know how to talk about it. But, I think everyone knew since I've been "working" on a singular animation for over a year almost, maybe even longer (I'm lost track of time a while ago...) and just to be the same old crap doing nothing but playing games on Steam... not doing anything productive... not hanging out with friends... almost being worse than nothing. I don't know what to do with my life, game dev, animator, artist? But it dosen't matter huh? I've had an online presence for 5 years and 3 months so far (09/12/2020) and I had done nothing with my life on the net, besides shitty Scratch games. And it makes me wonder why. Why I do this to myself. I'm constantly pushing myself back and I don't know how to stop. It's always the same 3 things too when I ask someone else for help and thats to; "Just don't push yourself back", "Put more effort in", and do you know how hard it really is? Probobly not because it doesn't apply to you currently or ever has applied to you. But think about it this way; "You're a person with not many friends you can trust, you surround yourself with bad influences beacuse thats how you were raised. So you start slacking off more, careing less becaue you don't know whats wrong with you or is even hapening in your own mind. You're scared, afriad, and you feel lonely even though you're techically not. You're friends and family start screaming at you to do something with your life to 'grow up' but you dont know how to start. The only way you can safely vent is on a stupid little webpage, that nobody visits, and you made on a whim one day. You're constantly afraid to tell anyone about what you like or enjoy because you're afraid people will say 'Thats weird.', or 'Thats stupid as shit.' and really all you really want is someone to talk to, that has the same intrests, the same hobbys as you, but you know it's imposible to find." What do you do first? Quite frankly I feel like giving up. Nobody cares what I do and it doesnt matter anyways. Not even the amount of spelling mistakes matter. Nobody cares so why should I?
I got to 160 taps and it's been 167 days since (Issue9). Hey look, it's the funny- SITH SEVENTHFUCKINGKILLMEICANTTAKEITANYMORE- number... hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha... why won't it stop? I feel like I'm slowly dying inside. I'm so tired of everything.
I'm not plugging my Twitch today, I don't feel like it after that.
Goodbye.